The Garbage Truck

Yesterday was warm and sunny so the boys and I ate our lunch outside. While we were eating, Van could hear the garbage truck and he jumped up and ran to the gate saying, "Let's see it!" I could tell the truck was a block away so I told him, "Sorry, Van, the garbage truck is over there behind the fence so we can't see it." About 15 minutes later, I heard the garbage truck barreling down our street picking up the cans so I yelled, "Van! The garbage truck! Let's go see it!" We all ran to the gate, opened it and we made it just in time to see the truck lifting up our garbage can. I looked at Van, who was perched on my hip and his face was glowing with happiness. I suddenly felt so emotional about the likelihood of me returning to full-time work in the fall to support our family while Isaac gets his PhD. I thought, "I want to be the one to show Van the garbage truck and I want to be the one that gets to see his face as he watches it." I thought back to the times when we lived in the Westview Apartment and William would want me to hoist him up to watch the garbage truck out his bedroom window. His reaction was the same as Van's and I loved watching the fascination in his eyes.  I would think, "What a blessed woman I am to be able to share these moments with my baby."

My mom called me last night and I told her how I'm really dragging my feet with the whole job application process. She knows and understands me so well. She said, "You know, Lesley. The reason you are looking for a job is so you can have health insurance, right? Well, have you looked into the student insurance for Isaac at ASU?" I said, "No." She said, "Well, why don't you look into health insurance options and if it works out, do an at home preschool?" As soon as she mentioned that, I felt this heavy weight lift off my shoulders.  I realized in that moment that I should probably start thinking more creatively and really research my options.  I don't know if after I do the math and the research, having an at home preschool is the best thing for our family, but at least I will know that I did look into it and considered every option out there before settling on the best. It's always been a dream of mine to one day have a preschool where I get to plan my curriculum, schedule my own hours, and interact with cute kids.  Hopefully that dream comes true this year! The realist in me says, "Sounds nice, but too crazy." The mom in me says, "Yes! More time with the boys before they're in school all day!" The financial planner in me says, "No way. Makes sense as a supplemental income, but not as the sole income." The teacher in me says, "You can totally do that!" My husband says, "Yes! Let's just  be poor and happy. I think you should do it."

So, I am going to listen to all the voices, line all my ducks in a row and go from there. In the meantime, I'm still applying for a full-time teaching job. No need to panic....yet.